17 July, 2010

The Bad, the Ugly, the Brutal

You're playing a game and you're fighting an enemy, however something is different than usual. This enemy is the real deal and he's not taking chalk from you, or any other hero that walks in after he turns your insides out. You know what I'm talking about. Those enemies that are completely brutal, chew you up, spit you out and then say, "Alright chump, round 2". They're the epitome of difficult (even though once you know they're secret they're not too tough) - but they're rare in gaming today. So starting with my first true gaming console, the Nintendo 64 as well as a few other systems - I give you (in a nice top 5 format - not 10 because I'm lazy) "The Bad, the Ugly, the Brutal".

5. Dark Link - (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

 
Those eyes pierce into your soul, and make you question your courage (ho, ho - see what I did thar?)

The entire mini boss fight with Dark Link is terrifying. First of all, you enter a room which is completely void of anything, save a small island home to a leafless tree. The musical score dies down. Eerie atmosphere, check. You walk around aimlessly, with no clue what to do. False sense of security, check. Finally  you decide to backtrack to the small island and this black, shadowy figure jumps out of the water, drawing his sword. Sudden shock, check. Just what is Dark Link? A parallel version of the Hero of Time, or a shadowy phantom conjured by Ganondorf? It's hard to tell - but either way, he's a pain in Link's posterior. He can dodge all of Link's sword attacks, and if the hero attempts a thrust attack Dark Link aptly hops on top of the Master Sword and has a free slash at Link's face. Once the player works out the secret to defeating him, Dark Link isn't so bad - however until that point, he strikes fear into the player's heart, and makes you second guess your every move.

4. The Elite 4 - (Pokemon Red, Blue, Yellow
Is he big and scary? No. Should you fear him? Bloody oath!

So you've managed to clamber through the world of Kanto, defeating all 8 Gym Leaders as you go. You've even tackled the Power Plant, the Seafoam Islands and slugged your way through Victory Road. However, after all this trial and hardship, you learn that the real difficult is about to begin. Enter four elite Pokemon Trainers, whose sole purposes in life is to kick your arse from here, back to Pallet Town - with a cadre of battered, unconscious and utterly defeated Pokemon. These guys mean business. Unless you've given your Pokemon killer movesets, or trained into, at minimum the high 50s - these guys will wipe the floor with you. You might beat Lorelei comfortably, handle Bruno and even slug your way past Agatha, but then you have to face an absolute monster. The master of Dragon Pokemon; Lance doesn't show you any mercy and his two Dragonites are equipped with Hyper Beam to reign down on your parade. What made these guys so tough is, you either needed to be an ace battler, or you had to invest another 5 or so hours in training, just so your Pokemon even stood a chance against their beasties. Fittingly at number 4, I'm featuring a quartet.

3. Psycho Mantis - (Metal Gear Solid/The Twin Snakes
Oh-mi-gosh! Who told you?

Hideo Kojima is a strange, strange man. This isn't a bad thing, but he did spawn one of the most frustratingly bizzare enemies to ever appear in a game period. Psycho Mantis wasn't about being difficult neccessarily, but rather causing you to believe he was invincible and a complete badass, through a series of mind games. The list is huge. And yes, it is spoiler heavy so don't read on if you haven't experienced the Mantis yet.

1. Causing your in-game love interest to seduce you, then kill you
2. Forcing you to knock out said love interest to avoid aformentioned attempts against your life
3. Waking up your love interest and forcing her to attempt suicide
4. Forcing you to knock out your love interest a second time to avoid said suicide
5. Causing the furniture to attack you - Mantis is no stranger to domestic violence
6. Causing you to believe your television has changed channels
7. Reading your memory card and commenting on the games you've played
8. Being able to read your every move unless you plug your controller into an alternate port.

If all that wasn't enough - after you defeat him, he even manages to make you feel sorry for him. Master of psychotherapy? Yup. He's also one of the most unique enemies ever crafted in video game history, and he's damn ugly to boot.

2. Meta Ridley - (Metroid Prime)
Oh. My. God.

Samus has obtained all the Chozo artifacts and is on the way to prevent the complete destruction of Tallon IV, but Ridley has other ideas. He appears at of no where, raining missiles down on the heroine as he flies around the battlefield, stopping to land, breathe fire and claw at her face. This guy told us that we were at the business end of Metroid Prime, and that he was going to make our life a living hell to make sure we didn't pass, if he had to. The thing about Ridley is, he doens't seem to have any clear motives - the only reason he hunts Samus is because he hates her to his core. This fight showed that clearly, with many of the encounters ending with a fade to black and scream as Samus' suit systems shut down - how's that for a tongue twister?

1. Master Stalfos - (The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Horror.

Here we have the inspiration for this entire feature. Why you ask? Because this Stalfos doesn't muck around. Everytime you risk an attack on him, he's almost garuanteed to hit you in the process. There's also a chance you'll miss and still take the hit. Until you realise the correct way to approach him, this guy continually slaughters Link and it makes you want to go home and cry to mummy. Even if you're adopted. The most horrifying thing about the entire ordeal, is this guy is just a mini-boss, a la Dark Link. You also have to chase him around the entire dungeon, defeating him multiple times. It's well worth the reward though as he coughs up the Hookshot, which proves an invaluable tool for the dungeon and indeed, the rest of the quest on Koholint Island.

06 July, 2010

Video Game Journalism and me

I haven't written anything post E3, but believe me - it is coming, and those of you of Nintendo persuasion will like it a lot.

This however is just a short update to announce that I'm now a volunteer news writer at Vooks.net

My first article, 3DS Metal Gear may not be Snake Eater remake, just went live, so go check it out!

Whilst my new position may take a little away from blogging, I assure you it will not stop. This is a positive, and progressive step torwards realising my goals.

Thanks to all my readers, your support is invaluable.